TLOZ Truth or Dare
by geminiGenius
Summary: New chapter will be up as soon as I get more dares kthnxbai. Also, Spirit Tracks characters will join now as well!
1. MY FIRST FIC!

_**TLOZ Truth or Dare**_

**A/N: OMG MY FIRST FAN FIC! Lol, obviously, its a truth or dare, and Imma try 2 make it AFAP! (as funny**

**as possible) Please review, it would mean the world to me!  
**

* * *

Addict: Hola everyone! I am Addict and this is my assistant, Ash. -points to a boy that looks JUST like Ash Ketchum, except hair is light blue and no vest or hat-

Ash:......Hi.....-gives a shy wave-

Addict: -cough pansy cough-

Ash: I HEARD THAT!!!!!!! I AM NOT A PANSY!

Addict: -takes out Big Finish 1,000,000-

Ash: Oh Goddesses.......

Addict: Now, shut up or I'll shoot you with this.

Ash: Yes, Ma'am!

Addict: Good. Anyways, here are some dares.

* * *

I dare:

Link to make out with Ganondorf

Tingle to make love to Navi til Navi's pregnant

Toon Link to strip down to boxers

Tetra to make out with Zelda 'o.O

Malon to make out with Romani

D. Link to make out with CD-I Link

Yours deviously,

DevilZelda10

* * *

Link: -reads dare- OH HELL NO!  
-hangs self- X.X

Addict: -puts fairy over Link-

Link: AWWWWWWW CRAP!!!!!!

Ganon: OH HELL YEAH! -makes out passionately with Link-

Link: Oh......that felt........grea-----I mean,  
awkward...........

Addict: Wow...............

* * *

Navi: -reads dare- Oh Crap....

Tingle: -also reads dare- OMG! The Goddesses have blessed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D -makes love to Navi-

Navi: -takes pregnancy test- I'm....pregnant....

Addict: -checks with awesome pregnancy test checking thingy powers- omg you ARE!

* * *

~9 MONTHS L8R~

Doctor: PUSH!!!! PUSH!!!! -baby pops out of Navi-  
ITS A BOY! -another baby pops out- AND A GIRL!!!!

Navi: -puts babies in a crib and runs em' to an adoption center and names em Tatl and Tael and runs to studio- Ok, my babies are gone

Addict: O.......K....... -anime sweat drop forms on forehead- onto the next dare!

* * *

Toon Link: -reads dare- oh HELL no!

Tetra: What? -also reads Toon Link's dare and squeals then just about faints from excitement-

Toon Link: Fine, but only if Tetra watches me :)

Tetra: Of course I'll watch!!!!!!! :D

Toon Link: -strips down to boxers-

Tetra: -squeals and faints-

Addict: Oh.....My.....goddesses, what fine abs! -drools-

* * *

Tetra & Zelda: -reads dare- YAY! -makes out-

Link & T. Link: -T. Link stares at Zelda in envy-  
grrrrr.. -Link stares at Tetra in envy- grrrrr..

Addict: Wooowww......Awkward! Anyways, on with the next dare! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

* * *

Addict: Sorry, Romani and Malon are sick, so they can't do the dare. (

* * *

D. Link and CD-I Link: -makes out and pukes-

Midna: Awww thats cruel......I like it!!!!

* * *

A/N: Awesome! FYI I am a female, so that explains the Toon Link Dare. :P


	2. WEDGIE!

A/N: OK! SECOND CHAPPIE! :3 I got a dare! you'll see it!

Addict: Hey Peoplez! Sorry, but I fired Ash. He was WAY too much of a pansy. So, here's my new assistant, Orange Link! -points to a blonde boy with an orange tunic-

Orange Link: Yo, just call me OL.

Addict: I will call you whatever the Hyrule I want! -takes out Big Finish 1,000,000-

OL: YES MA'AM

Addict: Ok...LET'S GET ONTO THE DAMN DARES!

_  
Dear Addict,  
How about Link gives Zelda a wedgie?  
-Jamz Fowely

_  
Addict: Well, Jamz Fowely, its kinda lame, but fine.  
LINK! ZELDA!

Link & Zelda: YES MA'AM?!

Addict: Zelda, bend over. Link, give Zelda a wedgie.

Link: Uhhhhhh.........ok........-pulls Zelda's skirt up and looks away while giving Zelda a wedgie-

Zelda: -gets a red face- DID YOU GIVE ME A TEXAS WEDGIE!  
-anime vain pops up on head-

Link: -anime sweat drop pops up on head- No!

Zelda: -stands up and uses Din's Fire on Link-

Link: Heheh...I have on my Fire Tunic!

Zelda: Crud.....

Link: -slashes Zelda with sword- you *****!

Addict: Ok......Hey, OL, whats the next dare?

OL: we dont have one.

Addict: ok...bye, pplz!

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A/N: Ok, kinda short, but don't blame me. 


	3. AAAAAAAAAH MY EYES!

YO! its been awhile, so dont blame me if this chappie is crappy oh, btw, imma change my name in the story to ZA

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ZA: Hey ya'll! wassup?

OR: uhhh......what in Hyrule is wrong with you, Addict?

ZA: MY NAME IS NOW ZA! WINDSCAR! -takes out sword and slashes a huge wave of light at OR-

OR: Iron Reaver Soul Stealer! -grows claws and slashes ZA's Windscar back at ZA-

ZA: (bleep) it..........

OR: DARES!

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I dare:  
OR and Addict to make out for 1 hour straight Navi to let Link do stuff without her permission Navi to also shut up for 1 day Zelda to kiss Ganon (not Ganondorf, but PIG GANON)  
Link to run around in a bikini, yelling "IM A (bleep) GIRL!"

Yours Deviously,  
DevilZelda10

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ZA: uhhhhh.......kaaaaayyyyyyyy...........-grabs OR and makes out passionately with him-

OR: MMMMMMMMMMMMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -closes eyes and enjoys kiss-

-1 hour later-

ZA: wanna go out, OR?

OR: Are you kidding? Of course!

ZA: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Midna: Wow, I did NOT see that coming!

Navi: -reads dare- (bleep) it, I dont want to!

ZA: TOO BAD! -shoots navi and revives-

Navi: :( ok :'( -super glues mouth shut-

Link: -jumps off a 1,000,000 story building- WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Navi: MMMMMMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -.- -glares and DevilZelda-

DZ: -slouches in chair, trying to be invisible- ^-^'

Zelda: No Way!!!!

Ganon Pig: Yes Way! -kisses Zelda and snorts- YAY!!!!!!

ZA: woooooooow........................

OR: woooooooow........................

Ash: -suddenly comes back, carrying a huge freakin' gun and opens fire-

ZA: -dives into bunker-

Every1 else except Ash: -also dives into bunker-

ZA: -takes out mah BFG and shoots Ash to ashes- PURE PWNAGE!!!

OR: Exactly why I love you, ZA :3

ZA: :3 Love you too :3

Midna: -pukes on Link-

Link: Ewwwww........

Every1: -stares at Link's head-

Link: -reads dare- no....way....I am NOT, repeat, NOT! doing that!

ZA: ok....I'm too lazy to write it write now anywayz...I'll do it l8r...Next chappy.

Link: Kk, fair enough :\

ZA: Next dares!!!!

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YAY! TLOZ ToD!  
Ok, I dare:  
Link: -gives some pudding- Kill Ganon in pig form with this. O.o

Zelda: -looks around . .- Get Link to go out with you. O.o

Ganondork: ... Give up trying to be the King of Hyrule. It's getting freakin' ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, kinda small, but I am too much of a lazy (bleep) to continue . . plus I gotta go rule the world with a piece of lint, a gummy bear, and a can of soda .

Forever a,

ZELDAADDICT10! XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

srry, hyper . .

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ZA: Meow?

OR: o.O

Link: -takes the pudding and feeds it to Pig Ganon-

Pig Ganon: DOESNOTCOMPUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! -gets sooooo fat that he explodes in a massive shower of blood and machienery-

Every1: O.o wow...........

Zelda: ok...Link, will you go out with me?

Link: No freakin' way! Look at how many times I saved your sorry (bleep)! And what do I get in return?! I'll tell you what I get in freakin' return. AN ANNOYING FAIRY, AN ANNOYING TWILIGHT PRINCESS AND A HEADACHE!!!!!! I HATE YOU, ZELDA HYRULE! YOU SUCK!

Zelda: -cries- It's not _**my**_ fault Nintendo made me sign a contract!

Link: O.o' I didnt know that...

Zelda: Of course you didnt! You dont know anything! Except that your hat is pointy!

Link: o.O' My hat is pointy?

Zelda: _**Exactly**_ my point!

Link:DOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTE

Does...Not...Compute...-head explodes in massive shower of machienery-

ZA: -heals Link- O.o' wow

Ganondorf: -reads dare-

DOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTE

Does...Not...Compute...-head explodes in massive shower of machienery-

ZA: -heals Ganondorf- Wowies...Thats happening alot today O.o' ok, well, guys, I have a confession to make. DevilZelda10 does not exist...Well, not that I know of...I didnt have any dares or truths, so I made some up . . sorry. DevilZelda10 is pretty much me. My OC, pretty much.

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Okay, I want you to know, that I am following Keybladeboy's footsteps and doing the lyrics thingy. Ok, so, I give you lyrics from a song, and you have to guess what song it is from. Normally, its cookies for right guesses, but I will give out Zelda games and wiis. Ok, Lyrics:

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me, me, me

END

Okay, go ahead and use youtube or you can look it up on google or somethin . I don't care.

Love ya'll!


	4. A visit from Michael and Elmo!

Author: Yay! Guys, I am sorry it took me so long to make this! I GOT SUMMER SCHOOL! -sobs-  
Zelda: -smacks Author in the face- FUCKING GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!  
Author: Thanks. -shoots Zelda in the face and revives-  
Zelda: WHAT THE HELL, MAN!?  
Author: I got bored.  
Zelda: -growls-  
OL: DARES, MAN!!! -kills a hobo-

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link punch ganondorf in balls --phantomlink959

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Author: Bark?  
OL: O.o'  
Author: Alright. LINK! GANONDORF!  
Link and Ganondorf: Si, Seniorita? (A/N: I'M BAD AT SPANISH SPELLING! SO DON'T BLAME ME)  
Author: Link, punch Ganon in the whatever-the-heck-is-down-there's.  
Link: Say what?  
Author: -shows Link the dare-  
Link: O.O SWEET! -Falcon PAWWWWWNCH!es Ganon down there- PAYBACK FOR MAKING ME TRAVEL ALL AROUND FUCKING HYRULE AND COLLECT ITEMS FOR A FUCKING PRINCESS THAT DOESN'T GIMME A FUCKING BREAK FROM SAVING HER!!! HAHAHAHA! And for eating the last cookie! IT WAS MY COOKIE!

Author: -gives Link a Monster Cookie from Darie Mart- There. Next dares!

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ok so i just ask someone to do something right? ok if so: zelda drink 10 gallons of water in 1 day starting now!  
--VENOMDARK

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Author: Kay. Zelda!  
Zelda: Yeah?  
Author: -shoves a huge funnel in Zelda's mouth and pours 10 gallons of water in it-  
Zelda: -becomes a fucking huge chick-  
Author: -starts poking Zelda with a stick-  
Ganon: SWEET LEMME JOIN!!! -does the same-  
Every1 else: -pokes Zelda-  
Link: Pop goes the bitch!  
Author: WEEEEEE!  
Zelda: -pops and makes the studio a studio for fish- AHHHHH!  
Every1: glub glub glub.  
Author: Author...Powers...-weakly turns everything normal-  
Link: THAT WAS FRICKIN COOL, MAN! WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT FOR!  
Author: I am a jackass. Deal wit it.  
OL: Yup. Same here.  
Author: Next dares! OH AND BTW, YOU COULD PUT MORE THAN 1 FUCKING DARE IN THE REVIEWS! I WOULD FUCKING APPRECIATE IT!!!! :( I'm tired of making up my own!

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I have one-Link and Dark Link have to dress up as each other and act like each other for a day! -imagines Dark Link- Hehe --DarkLinkvsRaineSagefan101

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Link and Dark: -reads the dare- No...fucking...way!  
Author: -takes out Big Finish 1,000,000- YOU WILL DO EET! OR I SHALL FUCKING KILL YOU!  
Link and Dark: O.O Meep.  
Author: -shoves Link and Dark into a dressing room, where they switch clothes and colored contact lenses-  
Real Link: -comes out looking like Dark with some scars on his wrists and black nail polish on his fingernails-  
Real Dark: -comes out looking like Link with the bunny hood (from Majora's Mask) on and a huge grin-  
Author: Woooow.  
Real Dark: -gives the evil eye to DarkLinkvsRaineSagefan101-  
DLVRSF101: -slumps in chair-  
Author: ooookay...Do we have any more dares, OL?  
OL: Nope.  
Author: Okay, then it looks like Imma have to make up some...AGAIN.  
OL: Shut up. It's not a big deal.  
Author: YES IT IS!

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Ilia: Epona is Link's horse. Deal with it.  
Ruto: LEAVE. LINK. THE. HELL. ALONE.  
Link: Yer welcome!  
Author: Yer awesome. All of the readers (except for the authors in yer favorites) are unworthy. -gives a special cookie and a pair of Fairy God Parents- YER WELCOME!  
Ganon: Go against Majora in a cooking match (SORRY KBB! I HAD TO! .)  
Navi: Shut up.  
Tatl: Shut up.  
Ciela: Shut up.  
Kaepora Gaebora: Shut up.  
Tingle: Shut up.  
Author (again): -gives her a mallet from the first Donkey Kong- WHACK-AN-ANNOYING-ZELDA-CHARACTER!  
Yours Deviously,  
DevilZelda10

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Ilia: DOESNOTCOMPUTEDOESNOTCOMPUTE -head explodes in a massive shower of blood and horses-  
Author: Wow.  
Ruto: BUT I CANT! -glomps Link-  
Author: YOU FAILED THE DARE, DUMB BITCH! -throws Ruto in a pit where Elmo kills her-  
Link: THANK YOU, MAN! THANK YOU!  
Author: Awwww, thanks, DZ! -takes cookie and fairy god parents-  
Ganon: I dont wanna! I already did in Keybladeboy's story like, what, 2 or 3 fucking times! I AM DONE!  
Author: Alright, too lazy to put it in anyways.  
Zelda: -is mumbling- lazy bastard.  
Author: Bite me.  
Navi, Tatl, Kaepora Gaebora, Tingle, and Ciela: What? But why?  
Author: YOU FAILED THE DARE, DUMB BITCHES! -throws the five into the Elmo pit, where Ruto's corpse lays in the corner-  
Elmo: -kills the fairies, 35 year old dude in spandex, and the owl-  
Author: -yawns- Author...Powers...YAWN! -revives everyone but Ruto-  
Everyone: WHY!  
Author: I told you, I am an effing jackass! god...OH SWEET GOD! I GET TO WHACK EVERY ANNOYING ZELDA CHARACTER?! YAY! -revives Ruto and whacks all of the annoying zelda characters (yeah, too fucking lazy-  
Link: DUMB BITCHES WILL DIE!!!! -skewers the dead bodies of fairies, the owl, Ruto, and Tingle- HAHAHAHAHAHA! BITCH! THATS WHATCHA GET FOR PISSING ME OFF!!! STUPID OVERPRICED MAPS!  
Everyone who is NOT dead: -stares at Link wide eyed-  
Link: THEY FUCKING PISSED ME THE HELL OFF!  
OL: So, Author, should we stop fer the day?  
Author: No, in a little while, though. AND I FUCKING HAVE TO MAKE UP MORE FUCKING DARES!!! FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF GOD!  
OL: She's lost it. Next Dares!

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Hey!  
Link: -throws him a huge fucking gun like Author's BFG (chapter 3)- BLOW THE FUCKING APE SHIT OUTTA THE PLACE!  
Author: You must do me a favor. Lemme become a character!  
Midna: get high -VioLink

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Author: this having to make up my own dares thing is starting to piss me the fuck off -eye twitch-  
OL: Guys, for the love of God, just give the girl more dares before she goes totally apeshit on us all.  
Link: -reads dare- YAY!!!!! -goes apeshit with the gun, shooting the author a million fucking times-  
Author: Bitches, I've been hit times a million! AUTHOR POWERS! -revives everyone except for Ruto, Navi, Ciela, Kaepora Gaebora, Tingle, Tatl, and whoever the hell else pissed me off during the Zelda games (laziness-  
OL: SWEET MOTHER OF FUCKING BITCHES! THE GREAT DEKU TREE WAS KILLED! HE FUCKING PISSED YOU OFF, AUTHOR!?  
Author: Yeah. He fucking gave me the flying bitch named Navi in Ocarina of Time! FUCK THAT BITCH!  
OL: damn, yer a prick. He gave you the first Spiritual Stone. HOW IS HE A FUCKING BITCH IF HE DID THAT!?  
Author: Dude...he gave me Navi. The most annoying flying bitch besides Tingle. FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT!  
OL: ooooh....I get the point.  
Author: Yeah. Next dare! and no. You are me, so no putting myself in 2 times or more.  
VioLink: -cries-  
Author: -pimp slaps Vio Link- SHUT UP, BITCH!  
Midna: Ummmmm.......I am trying to get OFF of drugs.  
Author: SNORT IT, BITCH! -shoves a bag of c0caine on Midna's bitchy little imp head (yes, she gonna be an imp the WHOLE time until I say shes not)-  
Midna: -inhales, then goes totally fucking apeshit with a chainsaw, the bag over her head- FUCKING DIE!  
Author: WAAA! -just barely avoids getting her head chopped off- AUTHOR POWERS! -turns everything back to normal, except that Ruto, Navi, Ciela, Kaepora Gaebora, Tingle, Tatl, Great Deku Tree, and whoever the hell else pissed me off during the Zelda games are still dead- Alright, one more patch of dares, then I am fucking DONE!

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Hello.  
Link: GO AGAINST ELMO IN A BATTLE ROYALE! Team Elmo: Elmo, Telitubbies, BooBahs, Barney. Team Link: Link, Navi, Vaati, Midna.  
All of the alive Zelda characters: Spend about a month in a room with Michael fucking Jackson, or MJ for short. HAHAHA! But, Author and OL don't have to go in. (oh, and yes, I am aware that MJ died. I DON'T REALLY CARE. do eet)  
-BitchNamedNavi

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Link: Meep! NOT ELMO AND THE TELITUBBIES AND ALL THOSE OTHERS!!! NOOOO!  
Author: -revives Navi- YES! -shoves Team Link into a ring with Team Elmo- GO KICK SOME ASS!  
Team Link: -gulp-

Team Elmo: Pway wid us...Pway wid us.

10 MINUTES LATER

Author: Team Link wins! Wait, TEAM LINK WINS?! YAY! FUCK YOU, PBS KIDS!!! HAHAHA!  
Team Link: -jumps around happily, also stabbing the Elmo team- HAHAHA! BITCHES!  
Author: -reads next dare, revives all of the annoying characters, turns into a 50 year old dude, then shoves all of the Zelda characters, along with a new character that randomly came in named Syrup (a waffle), into a room- HEY MJ! KING OF POP! THERE ARE SOME REALLY COOL KIDS IN THIS ROOM WHO ARE JUST DYING TO MEET YOU! HURRY!  
MJ: -moon walks into the studio, singing Thriller- Omigod, are you furreal? Because I just missed my plastic surgery appointment. -does the weird Egyptian like dance move that he does in the Thriller video and then his nose falls off-  
Author: O.O . o.o No! I'm not lying. -crosses fingers behind back- Now go! They're waiting, just for YOU!  
MJ: SWEET! -moonwalks into the room-  
Author: -locks the door and piles a 1,000,000 ton statue in front of it, along with Team Elmo's dead bodies- That oughta hold em. Now, OL, do you wanna go play Mario Kart Wii, or Super Smash Brothers Brawl?  
OL: BRAWL, BITCH! -runs to the Wii, turns on SSBB, and starts playing-  
Author: -does the same-

ONE MONTH LATER

Author: Alright...one month in 3...2...1...BEEP, BITCH, BEEP! They should be done. FRESH MOLESTED FUCKING BROWNIES, BITCH! -pushes the rotting Team Elmo corpses and the 1,000,000 ton statue aside, unlocks the door, and walks in- WHOA WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????  
All of the kids and girls (except Zelda) and Link: -all rotting corpses in the corner-  
Syrup: They all got ass fucked to death.  
Author: But why the fuck is Link there?  
Syrup: He pissed MJ off.  
Author: The poor bastards...death by ass fuck.  
Syrup: yep.  
OL: -walks into the room- Hey, whats go-HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT HAPPENED?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Syrup: Death by ass fuck. Thats what.  
Author: And why are you still alive, Syrup? I thought he would've popped you in a toaster and eaten you as brunch by now!  
Syrup: I have Waffle Powers. They're author powers for waffles.  
Author: sweet. But who's died so far?  
Syrup: hmm...well, everyone except me, you, OL, and Zelda. But Zelda looks like shes on the ropes as we speak.  
Zelda: FUCK! -is ass fucked to death-  
Syrup: minus Zelda.  
Author: oh, damn. Alright, MJ leaves me no other choice. AUTHOR POWERS! -turns into Vio (purple Link) and walks over to MJ- HEY FUCKING PEDOBEAR! COME DOWN HERE, MAN! I'M AN AWESOME KID!  
MJ: OHHH!!!!! -comes down from the air and tries to ass fuck Author/Vio (just Vio for now-  
Vio: NICE TRY, BITCH! -me shoves the Four Sword into MJ's ass and dances- THRILLER! THRILLER NIGHT, BITCH!  
MJ: FUCK! YOU BITCH, KID! YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKER! -dies-  
Vio: look who's talking, bitch. YOUR DAYS AS A FUCKING POP PEDOBEAR ARE OVER! -turns back into a lazy bastard 15 year old chick named Author in the story- BITCH PLEASE! -revives everyone-  
Everyone: SWEET GOD, THANK YOU, AUTHOR!  
Zelda: but you're still a bastard.  
Author: bite me, bitch. Now, more dare patches. I know, I said that the one before was the last, but I feel happy now that MJ is fucking dead!

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Author: let MJ fuck you.  
Link: get laid by Navi.  
Zelda: Fuck Ganon.  
--DeathByMJ

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Author: no, MJ just fucking died, no way am I bringing the pedobear back to life.  
Link: -reads dare- NO FUCKING WAY!  
Author: DO EET! AUTHOR POWERS! -hypnotizes Link to go into a bedroom with Navi, who is also hypnotized- BITCH!  
10 minutes later Link: -runs out of bedroom- SHE WOULDN'T SHUT UP! EVEN WHILE WE WERE DOING IT!  
Author: damn, Navi is a huge fucking prick.  
Link: HELL YEAH SHE IS!  
Zelda: -reads dare and pukes at the thought- SAY FUCKING WHAT, DEATHBYMJ!  
Ganon: -also reads dare- FINALLY! I HAVE A REASON! -drags a screaming Zelda into a bedroom-  
10 minutes later Zelda: -runs out of the room, screaming- AAHHHH! HE DOESN'T HAVE BALLS!  
Ganon: Only cuz I was MJ's son! HE DIDN'T HAVE BALLS EITHER! (A/N: That's true, MJ didn't have balls. Look it up)  
Author: give it up, man. She doesn't like you.  
Ganon: WAAAH! -runs into his room, crying for his mommy-  
Author: oookay...one more patch of dares.

Link: go fucking jump off a building

Zelda: bitch! GO GET FUCKED, AND LIKE IT LIKE THE SLUT YOU ARE!  
Ganon: french Majora ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Link: alright! sounds fun! -jumps off of the same 1,000,000 story building from Chapter 3- WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
Zelda: NO!  
Author: AUTHOR POWERS! -hypnotizes Zelda to go get fucked by Jason from Friday the 13th- BITCH!  
Zelda: -comes back 10 minutes later- YOU BITCH! HE NEARLY CHOPPED MY HEAD OFF WITH HIS CHAINSAW!  
Author: Good, just nearly. Now I can do that job! -chops Zelda's head off- BITCH!  
Ganon: -eyes widen- NO!  
Author: DO EET, BITCH! AUTHOR POWERS! -hypnotizes Ganon to french Majora-  
Majora: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, MAN!  
Author: Dare, man. NOW WE'RE FUCKING DONE, BITCHES! HELL YEAH! YIPPEE KAIYAY, MUTHAFUCKAS!

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! I was on a sugar high while writing this, so yeah. BYE! Oh, and post more than 1 or 2 dares per review, please!  
ADDICT OUT, BITCHES!

Author: HAHA! I tricked you! I promised to do the Link in a bikini dare. THIS IS A SPECIAL BONUS DARE!

Author walked into the studio, eating a turkey leg. "Hey, Link! I need ya real quick, man!" she shouted, biting into the turkey leg. "Yeah?" Link asked, walking over to Author. "Dude, you remember Chapter 3, right? The dare that I skipped?" she asked. "Oh sweet Jesus, NO!" Link cried. "Oh sweet Jesus, YES!" Author said, shoving Link into the swim wear aisle at Target. "Fuck, well, I'm screwed." he said. He grabbed a green bikini that was his size and went to the cashier. "Did that Author bastard make you do a dare, man?" she asked Link. "Yup. She's a fucking prick." he said, giving the girl 20 rupees. "Damn straight. Now, hurry before she kills us all." she said, shooing Link away. "Well, fuck. I hate this." he said, warping himself back to the studio. "YAY! GIRLS, GET YER CAMERAS READY! HIS BIKINI BOTTOM MIGHT FALL OFF!" Zelda cried, getting her camera ready with the rest of the girls except for Author. "Well, shoot. I really gotta do this, huh?" Link asked. "Yup. NOW GO CHANGE! MOVE MOVE MOVE!" Author screamed, pushing the hero into a dressing room. "BITCH!" Link cried as he looked at himself in the mirror. "MY MUSCLES ARE HUGE, BUT I LOOK SO STUPID IN A BIKINI! I HATE YOU, FUCKING MOTHER NATURE!" He hesitantly walked out of the studio with everyone following. Most of them had camcorders and cameras. "Man, why?!!!!!!" Link screamed. "CAUSE WE LOVE YOUR HOTNESS! NOW DANCE, DUMB BITCH!" Author cried. Link sighed in sadness and ran around the lawn, screaming "I'M A DUMB BITCHY GIRL!" until the cops came over and arrested him. "AUTHOR POWERS!" Author screamed, turning everything back to normal.

DUMB BITCHES, IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REAL END OF THE CHAPTER, THEN YER FUCKING RETARDED!!!!!!


	5. My hands have fallen off! NOES! DX

Author: Welcome back! HA HA HA! I GOT 2 MORE REVIEWS!

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Ganon: get hogtied and beaten to death like a pinata by the zelda girls.

Link: destroy Navi

Navi: do not be useless for the chapter and no does not computing.

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Author: Well, okay! GANON!  
Ganon: Si Seniorita?  
Author: -ties Ganon up and hangs him over a tree- AND I COUNT AS ONE OF THE ZELDA GIRLS! -takes out a base ball bat from Super Smash Bros. Melee- GIRLS! CMON, BEAT GANON!  
Midna: YAY!!!!!!! -becomes a huge spider thing (like in Twilight Princess XD-  
Zelda: -turns into Sheik-  
Rest of the girls: -gets out bats and sticks- HYAAAAAAAAA!  
Author: THREE! TWO! ONE! BEEP BITCH BEEP! BEAT HIM!  
All Girls: -starts hitting Ganon in random areas-  
=SCREAMS OF TERROR ARE HEARD FROM THE CROWD= 1 hour later All Girls: -are panting for air, tired of killing Ganon-  
Author: AUTHOR POWERS! -revives/heals everyone that was killed/hurt in the making of that dare- FUCK, THAT WAS AWESOME, MAN!  
Midna: -turns back into an imp- HELL YEAH IT WAS, MAN!  
Sheik: -turns back into Zelda- YEAH!  
Author: Next dare! OH FUCK, MAN! WHY CAN'T I DESTROY NAVI!?  
Link: Cause no one likes you. YAY! -scribbles down on a death note: Navi gets killed by being thrown into a crowd of Fan Girls who get gasoline poured on them, then are lit on fire, then Author is killed the same way as Navi, Syrup gets thrown to a crowd of hobos, Zelda is molested to death by MJ-  
Author: -is not aware of any other deaths besides Navi's- SWEET! NAVI DIES BY BEING THROWN INTO A FANGIRL BONFIYAAAAA! -is thrown into the swarm WITH Navi- AHHHH!  
Fan Girls: -are turned into a bonfire- AAAAAAHHHHH! OW! WE LOVE OW! YOU! LINK!  
Link: -blushes intensly- wow, Author was right, people love mah hotness! -flexes-  
All girls: -swoon and sigh- (that included Author)  
Syrup: -falls out the window, into the mouths of some hobos-  
MJ: -comes back to life, then molests Zelda to death-  
Zelda: FUCK! -corpse is thrown into the wall-  
MJ: -dies again-  
Author: -comes out of the crowd of burnt fan girls- AUTHOR POWERS! -revives everyone and smacks Link upside the head- IDIOT!  
Link: WELL AT LEAST I GOT PRETTY CREATIVE!  
Author: Touche, jackass. Touche....NEXT!  
Navi: DOESNOTCOMP...OH DAMMIT! grrrrrrrrrr.........fine.  
Author: Now, I need my feet scrubbed. Navi!  
Navi: OH NO FUCKING WAY, BITCH! -jumps off the 1,000,000 story building in chapter 3 and 4- GOOD BYE!  
Author: -leans over the side of the building and yells- YOU FAILED THE DARE, DUMB BITCH! AUTHOR POWERS! -revives Navi and throws her into the Elmo pit, where she kicks the dumb puppet's ass- OH FOR FUCK SAKES! -pokes Navi to death with a stick- DUMB BITCHES WILL DIE! -revives everyone that was killed in the making of the last 10 minutes or so-  
Navi: YOU FUCKING PRICK! -stabs author-  
Author: -dodges and successfully has MJ molest Navi to death-  
MJ: Peace, Bob Marly!  
Author/Bob Marly: Peace, Michael Jackson!  
Everyone: O.O . O_O Author: What? I didn't wanna get stabbed to death DX NEXT REVIEW (A/N: Yeah, review, not dares. BUT A LYRIC GAME WINNER!)

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Well I knew it was Evanescence without cheating, but alas I could not recall the song name for the life of me.

...Gah! My Immortal, I should've known that.

Moving on... I'd like to seem more Midna involvement, though I have no dares to offer you to that end. Best of luck though!  
~Kiba Wolf

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Author: Alright, I will put in more Midna. Sorry, but I can't please everyone DX

Midna: Alright, so...I gotta do more dares, huh? -shakes nervously-

Author: YUP, BITCH!

Midna: Damn.

Author: No more dares, eh? Well, I guess I'm gonna have to make up my own...AGAIN.

OL: Shaddup. It's no use whining about it.

Author: IT'S A BIG DEAL!

Okay, here we go, Author making up some really dumb dares. I got summer school, so I'm kinda drained.  
OL: -gives you a can of root beer- here you go! -giggles-  
Author: Throw Navi into a jail thats packed, and one of the people in that jail is Jason from Friday the Thirteenth! YAY! -gives you a video camera, capture device, web cam, and microphone- record it! :D

Link: Sing "Teardrops on My Guitar" and instead of saying "Drew," say "Dark!" :D heheheh (no I do NOT think Link is...well...a huge yaoi fan boy or anything like that)  
Author AGAIN: sing a song to Purple Link, or Vio, to show how you feel about him.  
Well, that's all I got w  
~Yumi

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OL: Thanks! -opens the root beer and it sprays his face-

Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Zelda: HAHA! I TOTALLY SAW THAT COMING! HAHAHAHAHA!

OL: -glares and cleans off-

Author: -reads her dare and smiles evilly- hehehe...oh Navi? C'mere.

Navi: -flies up to Author: Yes?

Author: DIE! -pushes Navi into a prison that is packed, also with Jason in it, then quickly sets up the cameras and microphones for future blackmail- Well, lets do some more dares while shes getting all kinds of raped. -reads Link's dare and laughs hysterically- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! I'M A GENIUS!

Link: -reads his dare- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Author: Do it, or Mr. Fluffy dies. -holds up Link's Wolf Link plushie and lights a match under it-

Link: NOOOO!!!!!! -growls- Fine, I'll do it. AHEM!

Dark looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see

What I want and I need

And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful

That girl he talks about

And she's got everything

That I have to live without

Dark talks to me I laugh 'cause it's just so funny

That I can't even see

Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love

He's finally got it right I wonder if he knows

He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

Dark walks by me

Can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight

Give him all her love Look in those beautiful eyes

And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone

As I turn out the light I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into

Dark looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see.

Author: -laughs- LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!! OMG SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

Dark: -eyetwitch, then drowns himself in the Zora River- X_X

Author: Author Powers! -revives everyone who was killed in the making of that dare- Okay next dare. Awwwwwwwwww, okay, self :P song for him...I'm in the mood to sing New Divide by Linkin Park, but that doesn't explain my feelings...hmm...maybe! No...or! No...oh! No...maybe...uhhhhhhhh.  
A FEW HOURS LATER Author: ummmmmm...OOOOOOH!!!!! GOT IT!  
OL: Finally!  
Author: Shaddup, OL. Okay! AHEMIES! :3

Making my way downtown

Walking fast Faces pass

And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead

Just making my way

Making my way

Through the crowd

And I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder....

If I could fall Into the sky

Do you think time Would pass me by

'Cause you know I'd walk

A thousand miles

If I could Just see you Tonight

It's always times like these When I think of you And I wonder If you ever Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong

And I don't belong

Living in your precious memory

'Cause I'll need you

And I'll miss you

And now I wonder....

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

'Cause you know I'd walk

A thousand miles

If I could Just see you

Tonight

And I, I

Don't want to let you know

I, I

Drown in your memory

I, I

Don't want to let this go

I, I

Don't....

Making my way downtown

Walking fast Faces pass

And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead

Just making my way

Making my way

Through the crowd

And I still need you

And I still miss you

And now I wonder....

If I could fall Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass us by

'Cause you know I'd walk

A thousand miles

If I could

Just see you...

If I could fall Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

'Cause you know I'd walk

A thousand miles

If I could

Just see you

If I could

Just hold you

Tonight

Vio: -tears up- that was beautiful.

Author: Okay, Vio, if you're going to be such an emotional person, then I'll only walk a hundred miles.

Vio: -shuts up and sucks his tears back in (don't ask how-

Author: Good boy! -kisses Vio's cheek- Now...no more dares...too...tired...-hands fall off from too much typing- O_o' -tries to hot glue them back on with her little stubs of arms- THIS HOT GLUE GUN IS DEFECTIVE! Meh...see ya'll later, I'm gonna go figure out a way to glue my hands back on...DANG GLUE GUN! WOOOOORK!!!!!!!!!! Bai...all...-dies from loss of blood-


	6. Cookies and Glomping to Oblivion!

**Author: -is in her room watching One Missed Call- OOOOH YAY SOME BLOOOOD!!!!!! WOO HOO!**

**OL: -walks into Author's room- Yo, dudette, c'mon, we gotta go torture some Zelda characters.**

**Author: -pauses the movie- First of all, my name is Author or Hannah. Second of all, I'm trying to watch One Missed Call!**

**OL: WRONG ANSWER! -chops the TV in half with a Katana(sp?)-**

**Author: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT MY PRECIOUS TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -shoots OL then replaces her TV- Author powers -revives OL-**

**OL: WTH?!**

**Author: Serves you right for killing my TV! -runs to the studio while OL runs after her with a machine gun-**

**OL: GET BACK HERE!**

**Author: FORCE FIELD! -force field pops up around her and the rest of the people except for OL- Dares!**

**OL: FINALLY!**

**Author: Shuddup OL!**

**I dare Link and Imp Midna to make out for a whole hour**

**Ganondorf to give the Triforce of Power to Ruto**

**Ruto to use the Triforce of Power to kill Link after he's done making out with Midna**

**Link to LET and/or FORCE Ruto to kill him**

**Zelda to make Author and OL a batch of her famous Hylian Machidamian Nut Chocolate Fudge Cookies**

**Saria and Mido to fight to the death.**

**So long, chums!**

**Sqwakers: Shark bait! BRAK!**

**Lyoko Barbossa**

**Author: Ooooooooo! -pushes Link over to Midna- (like I said before, Midna will be an imp until further notice!)**

**Midna: WTH ARE YOU DOING, LINK?!**

**Link: -lands on Midna- uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......dare...**

**Midna: O_o' well what's the dare? -reads- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Link: -is insulted- MEANIE! -runs away crying-**

**Author: -throws a sausage at Link- It's 'throw a sausage at anyone who runs away crying day'! WOO HOO!**

**Vio: Who gave you a right to make a new national holiday?**

**Author: Me. -snaps her fingers and a reminder for 'throw a sausage at anyone who runs away crying day' pops up on all calenders-**

**Vio: -eye twitch- wow...you're weird.**

**Author: And proud of it!**

**Vio: I hate you.**

**Author: Hate you too!**

**Vio: Isn't it love you too instead?**

**Author: ...and?**

**Vio: -sigh- nothing...**

**Author: That's what I thought! Now, next dare! -reads- OOOOOOH HO HO! THIS IS GONNA BE GOOOOOOD!**

**Ganondorf: Hmm? -reads his dare and his head explodes then grows back- WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!! I don't wanna!**

**Author: Too frickin bad! -forces Ganondorf to give his Triforce to Ruto-**

**Ruto: THE POWER! THE POOOOWWWWWERRRRR!!!! -grins and laughs evilly-**

**Everyone: -slowly back away from Ruto-**

**Author: Link!**

**Link: Yes? -is fully recovered from earlier-**

**Author: Dude, look at your next dare. -just barely stifles a giggle-**

**Link: ooookay... -reads his dare and his head explodes then grows back- WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!! I don't wanna!**

**Author: Too frickin bad! -shoves Link over to Ruto then hypnotizes Ruto to turbo glomp Link to oblivion- (she had to use the Triforce to be able to do a turbo glomp)**

**Link: -melts into a puddle of nothingness-**

**Author: Gonna regret this but...author powers -revives Link- and I'm not gonna regret this at ALL! -returns the Triforce to Ganondorf-**

**Ganondorf: YAY! -turbo glomps Nabooru to oblivion-**

**Nabooru: -melts into a puddle of nothingness-**

**Author: Author powers! -revives Nabooru-**

**Nabooru: YAY!**

**Zelda: -reads her dare- Okay! I love to make those!**

**Author: -whines- But I haaaaate Machidamian nuts! -stomps her foot childishly-**

**Zelda: -uses her Din's Fire to bake the cookie super fast, then stuffs one into Author's mouth-**

**Author: -tries to spit it out but then relaxes and eats half of the remaining cookies, leaving the other half for OL- yummy!**

**Zelda: -smiles proudly-**

**OL: -eats the remaining cookies-**

**Saria: -reads her dare and smiles evilly- oooooh I am gonna enjoy this VERY much. VERY much, indeed! -gets decked out in ninja gear then totally frickin owns Mido-**

**Mido: -is only a head and rolls over to Young Link- Hey, wimp, how ya doin?**

**Y. Link: EEEEEEEK! A TALKING HEAD! AND WHAT'S SCARIER IS THAT IT LOOKS LIKE MIDO'S HEAD!!!!!! -jumps up onto a jungle gym-**

**Mido: No one likes me! -rolls away-**

**Author: -turns everything back to normal- meh...thats all...bai pplz...hands are still unattached...STUPID GLUE GUN! -tries to glue her hands on with hot glue- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STUPID THING!**


	7. OMG KBB REVIEWED!

Author: *running around the room, squeeing*

OL: yo, wassup paragirl?

Author: don't call me paragirl, first of all. Second of all, KEYBLADEBOY REVIEWED MY STORY!

OL: ...and thats exciting becaaaause...?

Author: *hits OL over the head* HE'S ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR LOZ TOD AUTHORS EVUR ON FANFICTION!

OL: MY EARS!!!

Author: gwahahaha...continuing!

* * *

Holy crap, KBB is reviewing this story! I make dreams come true everyday! (For example, just yesterday, I cured cancer.) Dare time!

Author: I dare you to put some kind of separation between the dares and your actual descriptions. Also, why is everything in bold?  
Ash: Have you been sued for copyright infringement for looking like Ash yet? (And yes, I'm bringing back Ash. DEAL WITH IT.)  
OL: Can I have your hat?  
Dark Link: Meet Dark Male and Dark Female from my story over tea and sandwiches.  
Midna: Which form would you rather take? Your imp form or your Twili form?  
Zant: What's with you and cracking your neck? How does cracking your neck kill freaking Ganondorf??...And can you teach me how to do that?

keybladeboy

* * *

Author: ...say what now? O_O; hmm...alright. Oh, and I didn't know it was all in bold *sweatdrop* Sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention to it.

OL: well no durr.

Author: *holds up her fist but then lowers it* just...shut....up...

Ash: *crashes through the ceiling* no, actually. I haven't. Though, Lani changed my look, sooooo...

Author: okay you answered it *kicks Ash out*

OL: you can't have my hat o3o

Author: *tries to take OL's hat off but it won't budge* the bloody hell?!

OL: it's part of my head.

Author: ooookay...*backs up*

M. Dark: okay. *goes to meet F. Dark at Dutch Bros.*

-AT DUTCH BROS-

F. Dark: so then he was like "Why did you just make out with my girlfriend?" and I said-

M. Dark: yes?! yes?!

F. Dark: "She's mine, you mother fuckin bastard."

M. Dark: *laughs evilly*

Both Darks: *get teleported back to the studio by yours truly*

Author: fun?

M. Dark: yes

F. Dark: yuh huh!

Midna: twili for sure!

Author: oh my...

Zant: *rapid neck cracking* I *crack* don't *crack* know. And sure! *crack* I'll teach you *crack* let us run off! *grabs KBB by the hand and runs off with him to reveal the secret, then yells behind him* WE'LL BE BACK IN 2 DAYS! *rapid cracks*

Author: oh dear...I got a feeling that-

OL: TONIGHTS GONNA BE A GOOD NIGHT!

Author: shut up, idiot.

OL: *pokes me* meanie.

Author: Thank you KBB for reviewing, you've been my inspiration for this story! And to have you review it is just pure awesomeness! I actually screamed in excitement when I found out you reviewed!

* * *

Ganon - I dare you to wear a pink bunny suit.

Link - fight a dragon with nothing but a plastic spoon.

Midna - try to tame a saber-tooth tiger.

Zant - do a little dance!

Dark Link - put on a sparkly pink dress and say "I'm a pretty pink princess" 100 times.

Tyrant Wolf

* * *

Ganon: ...BUT IT'S PAST EASTER AND HALLOWEEN!!!

Author: all the more reason! *throws a pink bunny suit at Ganon* now go change.

Ganon: *grumbles while walking into a dressing room, then walks out a minute later as a giant pink bunny* lalalalala, I'm a man eating rabbit...rawrgh.

Author: *pokes Ganon* o3o pretteh bunneh!

Ganon: *bites my finger off*

Author: D8 IT'S THE TERRORRISTS I TELL YOU! *hides in a bunker* DX *peeks out with shifty eyes*

Midna: *walks up to a Saber-Toothed Tiger* you are a beautiful, obiediant kitty cat.

ST Tiger: *acts perfectly behaved*

Talo: oh wow! How'd you do that?!

Midna: Star Wars, m'boy. Star Wars.

Talo: ooooo....kay........

OL: well Zant is out with KBB, so lets haaaaaaaaave.......Majora do the dance!

Majora: *does a little dance with a bored as hell Vio expression*

Dark: *begins skipping around in a sparkly pink dress* I'm a pretty pink prin-*shot*

Author: oh so pretteh! 8D

OL: okay...for the life of Lani, we don't have anymore dares. So once again, WE GOTTA MAKE SOME UP. *twitch, twitch twitch*

* * *

Author-bring in my OC named Akari! 8D

OL-meet my OC named Akotsu. You're babysitting him for 3 chapters.

...thats all I got .

Zelink-in-the-summer

* * *

Author: _ okay...*brings in Akari*

Akari: *walks in with an open book in one hand and a slurpee/icee in the other* whaddup!

Author: and Akotsu. *brings in Akotsu*

Akotsu: Imouto-Chan! *glomps Akari*

Akari: get off or I scream rape.

Akotsu: D8 *gets off and looks at OL* Anaki! *glomps OL*

OL: =_=; kill me. Please.

Author: ...thats all I got, tune in next time, please review, blah blah blah...

* * *

w done with Ch. 7! Yaaaaaaay! Next will be longer, and will also be dedicated to KBB for reviewing my very first fic, which is VERY n00bishly written. xD

okay! Lyrics for this chapter:

You think you know me so well  
You put me down to build you up  
You're kicking me around  
You just can't get enough

And all your friends  
surround you  
Without them by your side,  
You start to show your weakness  
It's something you can't hide

**see ya'll later, it's like 2:00 AM here and I gotta get to bed...*yawn***

**gosh, friggin homework...*passes out***

**Lani, out...  
**


	8. Authors Note I know, they bug me too

Ugh. So sorry for the lack of updates my mum grounded me from the comp and now I have to sneak on at night. Hope ya understand but I'm working on the next chapter right now.

Love,

Lani-San


	9. Another ANoh jeez

Hello my dear readers! I'm back, baby, and better than ever! I'm so sorry for my long abscense, I've been busy with school and what not...family issues, school assignments, etc etc etc...

Anyway! I'll be having a special guest in chapter 9...or 10...whatever. Send in dares for him plz! And if you guess who he is, you get a cookie!

Yours Insanely,

Lana San


	10. Special Guest: Author, KBB!

Lana: WELL HELLOOOOOOO READERS! I'm back, baby! Finally, right?

OL: FREAKIN YES! WHAT TOOK SO BLOODY LONG?

Lana: oi, hush, you baka. Anyway, WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST!

OL: CHUCK NORRIS?

Lana: close!

OL: WHO?

Lana: you may enter, special guest!

?: *walks in*

OL: ...Author from KBB's TLOZ TOD?

Lana: YES!

OL: ...you fail.

Lana: oh? Well I did create you...I guess I do.

OL: shut up. :T

Lana: anyway, welcome, Author, to the wonderful, crazy world of Zelda TOD my way.

Author: not as wonderful and crazy as mine.

Lana: that is so true.

Author: anyway, lets get on-

Lana: heyheyhey. My story, my dares, my truths, I s-

_...Ah, what the heck, I'll review, too._

_You so turned into KBB in chapter 3 or 4. So..._

_Author: find a new style that works for you_

_Four Swords Links: Fight Star Fox (SF: Assault group)!_

_Ganon: You are a giant gross pig...I got nothin'_

_Zelda: kill Tingle, he keeps getting in the way of saving the world._

_Navi: Guess what! You get to annoy everyone for five hours straight! And nobody is allowed to stop you!_

_Yeah...that'll be all for now. Ain't I a whackjob?_

_~The wierdo known as "Foxpilot"_

Lana: okay. HOW ABOUT EDWARD FREAKIN CU-*shot*

Author: IT BURNS.

OL: YES IT DOES eAe

Lana: anyway...okay, my new style is liek valleygirl lololol liek totally...liek emo valleygirl LOLWUT

Author: I don't think thats what Foxpilot meant.

Lana: I DUN CARE IMMA GO LIEK DIE NOW LIEK TOTALLY. But liek before that I totally never played SF Assault Group, only SF Adventure kthnxbai! *runs away*

Author: anyway...for Ganon's part, WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

Ganon: LANA'S HAIR IS NEW.

Author: ...orly.

Ganon: yarly.

Author: nowai.

Ganon: yawai.

Author: NOWAI.

Ganon: YAFREAKINWAI.

Author: FFFFFFFFFFFFF...

Zelda: *stabs Tingle**imhappyplz*

Navi: OH FUDGE YEAH *talks for 5 hours straight*

Everyone: *heads explode*

Lana: ve~ like, next dares!

_1)*hands Author cardboard box* Minish Vaati's in there. The box can become glass for better viewing, but don't let him out, or he'll regain his powers. Work him in somewhere, then return him._

_V: *from inside box* HELP ME!_

_2)*wipes Link's memory of end of Twilight Princess* Midna, return to your true form. I want to see his reaction..._

_*Drags in OC by the wrist* This is Cal, she's descended from Vaati, is a mage in training, turns into a white wolf when she comes into contact with dark magic, and is the namesake of my story, The White Wolf._

_C: *waves* What's up?_

_She's also easily embarrassed, and has a secret crush on Shadow Link (from the manga; destructively devious, kinda lonely, but with a good heart)*grin* and he returns her feelings. I WANNA A KISSING SCENE!_

_I sick fangirls on Ganondorf._

_I give pig Ganon fleas._

_I challenge all six heroes (Dark and Shadow included) to play a game of hacky-sack (sp?)_

_I want Lok and Sophie from Huntik to make out._

_I want to know what's more powerful, the Light Force or the Triforce (here's a use for Vaati!)_

_And yes, I know none of those is an actual dare, but they'd still be entertaining as...Mom? When did you start reading over my shoulder?_

Lana: NO. OTHER. FANDOMS. MAY. ENTER. OR OCS.

OL: tssssssssh...

Lana: ...*breaks into song* ~THE AWESOME ME'S THE MOST SUPREME, THE MOST FEARSOME~!

OL: Mein Gott! by Prussia from Hetalia?

Lana: TSSSSSSSSSH YEAH. Hey, just for the fun of it, lets bring in England, America, France, and Canada. ouo

OL: awesome! But didn't you just say no other fandoms?

Lana: *fake French accent* zis is an acception~ Author Powers!

England, America, France, and Canada: *all come tumbling in*

Lana: ...*puts on a fake Italian curl* veeeeeeeeee~ Arthur~! *huggle*

England: *pats Lana's head**smiles* hello.

America: what am I doing here? I was just playing Zelda and then...yeah...

Author: ...I'm invisible.

Canada: welcome to the club.

France: what is this? (I'm not gonna type in his accent. Imagine it. :U)

Lana: okay, dares! Soooooo...

Ganon: ASDKGSKJDHFGKSDHFJGHSDJFHG FLEAS DDDDx *jumps up and down*

Lana: that'll scar me for life...

Author: but it's so funny to watch people suffer~

Lana: so true.

OL: ...you're related to Prussia, aren't you?

Lana: no, I wish. D: AND NOOOO HACKYSACK. THAT GAME SUCKS SO BADLY...and also TRIFORCE IN MY OPINION~ NEXT DARES!

_I dare vaati to turn into a girl and get pregnant, I dare link to kiss ganondorf , I dare zelda to get pregnant._

_-Dark Link_

Lana: too disturbing. All of them, just...*shudders* Lets skip that. Sorry.

_Okay I, the Great Foxx, dare:_

_-Link, to go around in wolf form sniffing the butts of everyone he comes across, especially those who fart,_

_-Midna, to cook and eat her own hair,_

_-Author, to fart loudly in links face,_

_-Dark, to make out with a FEMALE Vaati/Gufuu,_

_-and Navi, to take on ALL of the Big bosses in friggin' table-tennis with a TEN-TON paddle_

_-critically sane, Grey Foxx_

* * *

Link: yaaaaaay (wtf Link just wtf) *turns into a wolf**sniffs peoples butts*

Midna: no.

Lana: sorry I'm not that gross. .o. and there is nooooo Fem!Vaati.

Navi: *kicks their butts* .o. tssssssssssh

Lana: okay thats all sorry I'm lazy kthnxbai

Author: I barely appeared!

Lana: you can be in the next chapter as well.

* * *

_Okay, we're done. Sorry it's such fail._

_Anywho, England, America, France, and Canada will be in the TOD for a while._


End file.
